he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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