did you get engaged???
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
