I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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