I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
