While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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