so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
