You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
is wine microwaveable?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
