Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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