i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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