so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My life is pants optional.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
