I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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