where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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