She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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