it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
