so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
