Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
