mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
