I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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