you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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