SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
