Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
