Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
