Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
