Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Drunk is a universal language darling
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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