Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
