it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
