problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
