Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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