Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
