ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
