we're blogging at a bar
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
