Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
where am i from again
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
