I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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