Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I booty called her while she was in labor.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
