Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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