He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
