Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
