So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
