if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
