Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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