I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
