Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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