just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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