we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
