I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
