Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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