Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
