i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
