So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
