I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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