watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
