Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
