Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
