apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
