so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
